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Welcome to today’s episode of For All Humans.
While our world may be deeply divided on many issues, one thing we can all agree on is that we generally want what’s best for our children. This makes the ever-increasing cases of depression, self-harm, and suicide among teenagers all the more alarming. Despite our best collective efforts as parents, guardians, teachers, and role models, our kids are hurting to the point where they turn against themselves and their own bodies.
According to the Centre for Discovery, a teenager commits suicide every 100 minutes. Over 20% of all teenagers experience depression before they become adults, yet only 30% of those who are suffering are receiving help. In 2018, The New York Times reported that nearly one in four teenage girls would self-harm, which is twice the rate of teenage boys. What’s more, according to a paper by Drs. Sim, Rowan, and Datches, instances of depression and self-harm are increasing, beginning earlier in childhood and adolescence. They also note that there is very limited information about self-harm in younger children, aged 11 years and under.
I’m not sure what’s more alarming: that such a gap in information exists, or that we actually need information like that. Clearly, something must be done. As always, it’s impossible to fight an enemy we don’t understand, so we need to look at the problem head-on if we want to make any progress.
According to the article “Emergency Department Presentations for Self-Harm Among Ontario Youth,” published by the Canadian Journal of Health, self-harm refers to non-fatal self-poisoning or self-injury, irrespective of the apparent purpose. Like non-fatal suicide-related behaviors, self-harm encompasses both suicide attempts and non-suicidal self-injury. It is also a major risk factor for suicide, the second leading cause of death in 15 to 24-year-olds worldwide. Self-harm among youth is a public health issue in its own right.
Yes, you heard that correctly. According to the World Health Organization, suicide is the second highest cause of death among teenagers and young adults worldwide. It’s disturbing to note that while the term “self-harm” often brings to mind images of cutting, the aforementioned Canadian article reports that in both Canada and England, the most common method of self-harm is self-poisoning, followed by cutting and other forms of injury.
So, why do so many teenagers self-harm or attempt suicide? Spandler’s 1996 study found that young people who self-harm describe it as a multi-purpose coping mechanism. The purpose includes getting rid of distressing feelings, avoiding painful memories or thoughts, escaping difficult situations, creating comfort and security, transferring emotional pain to something physical, controlling some aspect of their life, or self-punishment. Many participants expressed that they felt unvalued or unworthy.
This brings us to a crucial point: we need to be careful with our vocabulary when discussing why teenagers engage in these behaviors. There are several myths surrounding self-harm and suicide attempts, one of the most pervasive being that it’s simply a cry for attention. Experts like Simet Earl and others have found that young people often hurt themselves due to self-hatred and a desire for self-punishment. The closest these experts come to acknowledging an attention-seeking motive is when they note that some teens may want to find out if anyone loves them. Isn’t that a terrifying statement to hear from a child? “I wanted to know if anyone loved me.” That’s not a cry for attention—it’s a cry to fulfill a basic human need.
Mother Teresa once said that “the greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love.” Many in the world may be dying for bread, but far more are dying for love. Our teenagers are showing us exactly what it looks like to die for love. But are we paying attention?
If this is the case, then the first and greatest thing we can do for our children is to love them and let them know, often and emphatically, how loved they are. We must also strive to understand what leads them to feel so unloved that they hate and want to punish themselves. As a mother of teenagers, I, like many parents, often make jokes about the inner workings of the teenage mind. But the fact is, there’s nothing funny about it. It’s frequently a dark and hostile place, and though we were all teenagers once, many adults are not prepared to deal with it.
The problem has reached an all-time high, and the numbers continue to rise. When surveyed, most school staff (excluding school nurses) reported receiving no training on self-harm and feeling unsupported in this aspect of their work. If teachers feel unprepared, how much more so do parents?
Research shows that effective communication is essential to preventing further self-harm, and simply providing a person who self-harms with the opportunity to talk can bring relief. But these kinds of conversations require adults to be as open and vulnerable as their children need to be, and that kind of courage can be difficult to muster.
This courage is in short supply within all communities, including religious ones, where topics like self-harm, suicide, and depression are often taboo. If these topics are discussed at all, it’s typically with negative tones and warnings about how wrong these behaviors are, rather than offering support to those who are suffering.
While it’s true that all major religions discourage self-harm and suicide, For All Humans is not here to lecture you about religious doctrine. Instead, we ask a loaded question: does religion help protect our youth from depression, suicide, and self-harm?
Several studies suggest the answer is yes. For example, a 2018 Harvard study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that individuals who attended weekly religious services or prayed or meditated daily in their youth had a greater sense of life satisfaction and were 18% more likely to have a positive outlook in their 20s than their non-religious counterparts. They were also 33% less likely to use illicit drugs.
According to Religious and Spiritual Factors in Depression: A Review and Integration of the Research, religious service attendance is associated with lower rates of depression and suicide, better mental health, and a reduced likelihood of substance abuse. Other studies have found that religious or spiritual involvement helps individuals develop the psychological resilience needed to cope with life’s stresses.
In conclusion, religion and spirituality may offer protective benefits against the challenges of adolescence. By encouraging open, compassionate dialogue and by providing love and support, we can help our teenagers navigate their darkest moments. Let us strive to be vehicles of help, rather than hindrance, as we walk this difficult road with them.
God willing.
We hope you enjoyed this episode. Please let us know what you think in the comments section, share this with your friends, and stay tuned for the next one.